Hello depression in for a quick visit?

I’m not sure why but I’m very emotional today. Like I’m gonna start crying any second. 

Now it is a difference to this compared to when I was in the deep dark of the depression. Today it feels like its grief that makes me want to cry.

My dad passed away last year, 2 years after he was given his terminal cancer diagnose. 20 March 2014, that day is burnt into my soul. I had two huge losses that day. First was finding out my wonderful dad was living on borrowed time. 

Yesterday this beautiful butterfly arrived, it has taken me a long time to find what I want to place at his grave. It’s only a small grave so it has to fit in. But this is just perfect. And yes I do believe that our dear that had passed their souls have a connection to butterflies. It gives me comfort.

The second thing that happened on the 20 March was my dating scan where I found out our baby had died. This was our 4th loss. The next day I had an d&c. Coombe was amazing in their care of me that time which I’m still so grateful for.

It wasn’t a hard decision to have my ovaries removed because of my history of very traumatic pregnancies and so many losses. I’m so grateful for my two girls and the birth of my little one did complete our family. 

I do have a tattoo that I will get and soon, it is two roses for my girls and 4 butterflies for my lost ones. So yes the symbol of butterflies is a huge one for me. 

Everyone in this world have their own struggles to deal with, some have worse than others. But if we stay open and allow for people to show how much they care for us, we will all be better off. Also if we allow ourself not to judge but just support the ones we love I think the world will be a better place. 

Recommendation for good tattoo artist in Dublin would be great.